Old-fashioned respect.....

I always try to treat my patients with respect, no matter who they are or what their story is. Sometimes this is difficult - such as the repeat drunk who comes in regularly in withdrawal, people in police custody etc. These people do create judgemental thoughts on our part, even though we try not to. I had a student placement in a jail, and it made me realise that they are all just people. Sure, they've done the wrong thing, but they are still people. We don't know how they got there, we don't know why the drinker drinks to excess. It does not make them any less worthy of our attention and respect than any other person. In giving them this respect, we hope that we can make a small difference to them. They might not know how to address their issues, and by creating trust and respect we might be able to crack the surface and offer some assistance without it being rejected.

I've noticed a few strange looks from other staff when I address patients by their surname - ie Mrs A, Mr B etc. Part of this is because in a small town, everyone knows everyone, and are often on a first name basis. I've noticed that many of my colleagues seem to know the "business" of a lot of patients, and will make judgement calls based on this. I don't believe this is appropriate, as the hospital environment is a very intimate setting, where the patient is very vulnerable, and what has happened on teh "outside" is generally not relevant to our provision of care. Being from elsewhere, I do not know these people, most of them I've never met before, and so I address them more formally until we are more comfortable with each other. I feel that this is important to create the necessary trust in me - it's a small gesture of respect that gives them the idea that I don't just think of them as "another patient," I see them as a person worthy of my attention, and that they are in control. Another facet is that most of them are older than I am, and I have been raised to respect my elders. I grew up calling adults by their surnames until I was given permission otherwise.

I believe this is also a part of my issues with some of the other nursing staff. Many of my colleagues are of a similar age to my own parents, and I find it extremely difficult to "talk back" to them. While they might be assertive, even aggressive, with me, I simply cannot return it - it's not part of my make up at all. Some of them, I think, have picked up on this and do push the limits of what's acceptable at times. This has been one of the most difficult aspects of working as a new RN - I am now apparently "in charge" of people who are my elders, and have 30 or 40 years nursing experience as ENs. Legally speaking, it's my butt on the line even if they make an error. Yikes. And I seem to get all the paperwork......blergh. But I am pleased to say that there are some wonderful staff who have really helped me out in some tough situations, and my thanks to them.

So please remember this:

Moving forward.....

I imagine my fellow new grads are, like me, beginning to look to their future careers again. It's time to start researching and applying for RN2 programs if you want them, and/or begin to look into where we would like to go in the future. Today I finally submitted my application for a student midwife position for next year, which as my friends know, is the reason I did nursing in the first place. That's not to say that I don't enjoy nursing - I love nursing, but my heart still lies in midwifery.

 This did mean I had to do more darn selection criteria responses, yuck! The things are just awful, I am never sure what to write - it's a fine line between selling yourself well and sounding like you are right up your own arse. And fancy limiting me to 750 words when I can rave on about myself all day! *wink* Writing those criteria answers was tough. I agonised over them for several late nights. I think my uni assignments are easier! But it's done now, my references are on board and I can only wait for the selection process to go through over the next couple of months.

On another note, you probably noticed in my last post how disgruntled I am at times with the culture of the workplace. I will be interested to see what happens when the mid year new grad starts work in a few weeks time. I won't be bottom of the food chain any more, so I am curious to see if they treat her the same way I have been treated. And if they do, I will be the first to step in and at least try to prevent it, or to support her if she needs it. In my experience it's the subtle, almost subliminal stuff that does the most damage, and it is often difficult to recognise, particularly when you are new to something. I have noticed that nurses who came to the facility after me, but with prior RN experience, are treated very differently. I am not going to stoop to that sort of behaviour. I don't need to put other people down to make myself look good. I am always going to be a hardcore nurse - see impactednurse.com for the details. Who's with me?

But on the flipside, I am beginning to be noticed by some of the people that matter, which is the most important thing. Yay. An agency staff member was doing orientation today with management, and asked for me to show her our IV pumps - apparently I am known as the guru of the new IV pumps! I got a chuckle out of that. I'm also often called upon to explain or fix computer "things."  It makes sense though - if it's new or technological, the new grad will know all about it. (Although, I am certainly not Gen Y, so not as technology minded as some of my younger counterparts! Tee hee.) Now all I need is some of those nursing iphone apps........*sneaks off to app store*

"Just a new grad"

I think if I hear that one more time, my head will explode.

A couple of months ago I was talking about how I felt in control and increasing in confidence. This is still true, however I am finding certain aspects difficult to wrap my head around. We are expected to function as part of the team - but what if that team won't accept me? It very much depends on which staff are on - some seem to think I'm capable only of menial tasks like making beds or emptying pans. The things I am "allowed" to do changes with the tide, it seems. Some days I don't know if I'm coming or going! You'd think I got my registration from a Corn Flakes box! The changing standards are frustrating. While these basic tasks are important, yes, and I have no problem with doing them, I am still an RN and capable of the full scope of RN practice. Grad programs are meant to be about developing your practice and consolidating your education, after all. I have even had people turn and walk away when I have asked them to assist me with something. It's like they don't quite know what to do with me, like I'm an inconvenience. There even seems to be a thing among some staff that new grad RNs are automatically lazy and must be hounded to do every shower, bed change and linen bag swap in the place. Anyone who knows me understands that I am definitely NOT lazy!

I have been speaking to some of my colleagues about how I would like to try some other areas, such as theatre and ED. My fellow new grads are now into their second rotation, and yet I am still doing the same thing. I am not unhappy with what I am doing, however being the ambitious soul that I am, I want to experience more. It's what I'm here for. The problem is, many of my colleagues do not agree. The usual response to my discussions is "you're just a new grad." Ah, yes, bottom of the food chain! And I am supposed to integrate into this team?

But seriously folks, what has being a new grad got to do with it? New grads work in EDs, they work in theatres, they work in critical care in many places. Everyone started with no experience in a new area, whether they were an experienced nurse prior to it or not. Even our students work in all areas. The only way to learn is to experience......and the grad program is about learning different aspects of nursing. There are staff ready and willing to have me rostered with them and show me the ropes, yet others continue to block me. I swear that I did more as an AiN, before I graduated! It's most disheartening. I can only look at it as some kind of possessional thing - ie, it's OUR domain and YOU don't belong here. I passed my final practical assessment in a far busier ED than this one, and immediately prior spent 4 weeks doing theatres, so I know I can do the job, and I think I've adapted to rural nursing quite well.

It's no wonder people leave! To be made to feel you aren't good enough, when you are busting your backside to do your best, can really cut deep. Why would you want to be surrounded by people like this? I don't know. But you know what? It's their loss, not mine. I am keen, willing to learn and adapt, full of ideas and VERY ambitious - and if they don't want that, if they want the same old thing, if they want to stagnate, then so be it. What happens when all their "experienced" staff retire? Once the program is finished, I have the choice to stay or go, provided there are positions available. That choice is not yet made of course, but the culture of the workplace is always one of the biggest factors in any job. There are always people you don't get along with, which is to be expected, but to be openly discriminated against is disheartening to say the least. I see it as the biggest barrier to my professional development at present.

Not that everyone is like this, far from it. Most of them are great! The problem is, you remember the bad ones.....and how they made you feel. And it only takes one on a shift.......Although, it was nice to hear that the students prefer to be with me. Apparently I'm a natural teacher, so there you go! (And the person who told me that WAS a teacher, so should know, lol.)

And here's a cartoon to brighten your day :-)